Stop Trying to Lose Weight like a Man!

Hey ladies!  I have some questions for those of you who are looking to improve your health.

  • Do you wish you could find the discipline to follow a set regimen semi-religiously so you’d hit a specific goal weight once and for all?
  • Have you experienced working towards your health goals like a madwoman, only to fall off track and go through varying degrees of torture trying to haul your tush back on?
  •  Have you beat yourself up for your lack of focus on healthy diet and exercise, wishing you were one of those people who had it more under control?

All human beings have a combination of both masculine and feminine energy.  All men and women need them both to be happy, whole people.  If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are in desperate need of a big fat injection of feminine energy into your approach to healthy living.

Masculine Energy and Its Relationship to Health

Masculine energy is focused and purposeful.  It will work day and night, destroying obstacles in its path like a beast, in the pursuit of its goal.  This type of energy is disciplined, and feels at home when sticking to a set routine.

Masculine energy appreciates clear, efficient solutions to problems that can be followed to the letter.  It says, “Just tell me exactly what to do to fix this, and I will do it.” (How many times have you gone apeshit on the man in your life when he has said this to you?) Masculine energy finds its value through achievement, and derives its power through the head.

A person looking to lose weight who identifies with Masculine Energy would love to be told exactly what to eat, how much to eat, and when to eat it in order to achieve a weight loss goal.  This person could then come up with a structured routine to follow around these guidelines, and over time, get their desired results.  Sounds a whole lot what the diet industry encourages, huh?

Feminine Energy and Its Relationship to Health

Feminine energy is soft, and cares more about the journey than the destination.  It loves connecting to others, and uses intuition to sense what those others need.  This type of energy is cyclical and can change on a dime.  Think of the cycles of changing needs we women go through monthly, geez!

Feminine energy appreciates love, relationships, and pleasure through the five senses.  It is healing and life-giving.  The forces of nature are feminine (we don’t talk about Father Nature, after all; and don’t even tell me that your emotions are not monsoon-like).  This might be why this type of energy prefers when things unfold naturally rather than by force.  Feminine energy defines its value through the experience of pleasure and joy, and derives its power through the emotions and the body.

A person looking to lose weight who is all about the Feminine Energy would enjoy a plan that includes flexibility in daily eating and exercise, some sort of support from others, and lots of encouragement to love the whole ride rather than caring so much about one final goal.

 Why Your Energies are Off Balance

For those of us in the western world, we live in a society where we admire traits that are associated with masculine energy.  We place a huge value on efficiency, and the ability to doggedly pursue goals.  The power of doing is glorified, the power of being is minimized.

We typically pay bigger salaries to professions that require lots of masculine energy, such as stock brokers and lawyers.  Smaller salaries go to professions that rely on feminine energy, such as teachers and social workers.  We’re taught that a promotion is a much worthier aspiration than improving your relationship with your family.

It’s no wonder that you’ve turned your masculine high beams on your weight loss efforts and lost touch the power of your divine feminine.  It is how we’re encouraged to handle most of what life throws at us.

How to Balance Both Energies in Healthy Living

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that masculine energy is bad and feminine energy is good or vice versa.  If you lived only in your feminine energy you’d lollygag the day away joyfully applying lotion to your legs and never get anything done.  In your masculine energy only, you’d bulldoze your way from achievement to achievement and never let go and enjoy a damn thing.

The great news is, healthy living becomes a zillion times easier when you’re using both of these complementary energies to help you.  Your focused goals and elaborate plans are awesome, and I want you to use them.  I just want you to give them a heavy sprinkling of feminine power, by being willing to adapt them to what works for you and tuning in to your joy at the process of getting there.

Here are a few ideas about how you can combine both masculine and feminine energies in your approach to diet and exercise:

  • Set and follow a general routine (masculine) that you can modify depending upon your needs that day (feminine)
  •  Regularly prepare healthy meals (masculine), and take time to truly notice and enjoy how they taste and smell (feminine)
  •  Find yourself an exercise buddy, because she will keep you accountable to your goals (masculine) and because you love having someone to talk to while you work out (feminine)
  •  Commit yourself from the bottom of your heart to the improvement of your health (masculine), but define success as feeling great rather than achieving a certain number on the scale (feminine)

Some Great Resources

Here are some of my favorite books that I’ve read about masculine and feminine energies.  I used all three to help me write this post.

Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, by Regena Thomashauer
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, by John Gray
It’s a Guy Thing, by David Deida

What do you think you are, more of a masculine energy or a feminine energy gal?  What ideas do you have about combining the two to take care of your health?  I’m dying to hear all about it in the comments!

29 Responses to Stop Trying to Lose Weight like a Man!
  1. chnlove scam or not
    June 26, 2013 | 9:52 pm

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  2. […] year I am focusing on living my life with more feminine energy.  I’ve talked about feminine energy living before, and I do a decent job at accessing mine – in fact, it was a big part of my recovery […]

  3. […] all my heart that self-love is the most important aspect of healthy living.  Sometimes, though, the masculine energy part of me kicks in and I just want to feel like I am DOing something to take care of myself, you […]

  4. […] me, from the DELICIOUS and healthy products, to the eco-conscious methods of production, to the feminine energy model of growth (100% word of […]

  5. […] Pat Allen and Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts by Regena Thomashauer.  They taught me about masculine and feminine energy, and introduced the idea that receiving joyfully was a healthy expression of my […]

  6. […] has an undeserved baaad reputation.  I blame our masculine-energy dominated society.  Remember, masculine energy loves crushing obstacles in its highly focused path to a goal.  That is all well and good, but if […]

  7. Elinor
    November 21, 2011 | 3:51 pm

    Actually, I couldn’t resist…

  8. Elinor
    November 21, 2011 | 2:23 pm

    If I was still on LiveJournal, I would immediately be making an icon out of that image!

    And – not to forget about it! – the rest of the article is great. Finally a use for masculine / feminine theory, which I’ve always found… difficult.

    • Marla
      November 21, 2011 | 9:23 pm


      • Elinor
        November 28, 2011 | 6:05 am

        *big cheesy grin*

        Mission accomplished!!!

    • Marla
      November 21, 2011 | 9:24 pm

      PS thanks for your sweet words too. xoxoxo

  9. latisha
    November 16, 2011 | 5:32 pm

    oh my you are hilarious. and really such a breath of fresh air. this was just fantastic. wave a penis at it pic had me almost spit out my coffee. subscription confirmed. fill up my plate please!

    • Marla
      November 16, 2011 | 6:01 pm

      Latisha! A million thank yous. I’m so glad you’re here and I’m excited to get to know you! :)

  10. pixie
    November 16, 2011 | 3:49 am

    This is killing me! I love your take on applying masculine and feminine thought process to how we take care of ourselves. LOVE IT. I came here from Twitter and followed my nose from the chili right on down to the waving penis. You had me at “chili”, but I’m a glutton for what comes after chili, and apparently that is a waving penis. *giggle*


    • Marla
      November 16, 2011 | 9:49 am

      Thank YOU so so so much! You have just made my day. I’m so glad my grandmothers don’t use the internet. I’m afraid they’d make the same chili to waving penis journey that you did. Let me also say how weird it feels to use ‘chili’ and ‘penis’ in the same sentence. Big big hugs – looking forward to digging in to your site too.

  11. Ellie Di
    November 10, 2011 | 12:59 pm

    This post makes me sooooo happy. I’m a huge proponent of encouraging both styles of energy in our lives; they both have valuable things to give us. Personally, my energy type depends on how I feel (which might make the whole thing feminine). Most days I’m in my masculine energy – getting things done and taking care of business – but it’s edged with feminine energy – paying attention to my emotions and body messages. When I use something like a 70/30 masc/fem ratio, I feel fantastic because I’m getting a lot of things done (well), plus I’m still tuned in to my Self. Granted, it doesn’t always work out that way, but that’s definitely how I operate best.

    • Marla
      November 10, 2011 | 8:32 pm

      It makes me so happy that you like this post! It’s awesome that you know the balance that makes you feel the best. I find it so interesting how our ideal balance can shift as our lives change, too.

  12. Cat @Breakfast to Bed
    November 9, 2011 | 10:20 pm

    I am making your stick figure my iphone background.

    • Marla
      November 10, 2011 | 9:17 am

      YES! I love the thought of you feeling momentarily flustered by something, then looking at your phone and breathing a sigh of relief. ‘Oh, that’s right. Whatever happens, just wave a penis at it. I’m covered. Phew.’

  13. Loran
    November 9, 2011 | 12:47 pm

    What a clever way to illustrate your point, Marla! hee hee Balance is definitely the key.

    I get Mama Gena’s Pleasure emails daily. She has great reminders.

    • Marla
      November 9, 2011 | 1:05 pm

      Thank you so very much, Loran! Mama Gena is fabulous, huh? I also love her Owner’s & Operator’s Guide to Men, but I couldn’t find my copy to include in my research for this post.

      Hope you’re having a wonderful day. xoxo

  14. Tanja
    November 9, 2011 | 12:27 am

    Oh, Marla, that “wave a penis at it!” graphic made me howl with laughter.

    I seem to naturally have quite a lot of masculine energy for a woman, and often the masculine approaches are the ones that best resonate with me. But at the same time, I can understand the need for balance, so thinking about weight loss (and maintenance, which is mostly where I am now) in terms of a balance between the two is definitely valuable.

    Thank you for making me think AND laugh today!

    • Marla
      November 9, 2011 | 1:02 pm

      Hey Tanja! Glad I could make you laugh. :) Hopefully you haven’t gotten ‘just wave a penis at it’ stuck in your head like it’s stuck in mine. Balance is great, but I also admire your awareness that one approach feels better to you. And I’m sure you could teach me a thing or two about getting things done! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  15. Joanna
    November 8, 2011 | 8:18 pm

    Hey that yin-yang reminds me of something else…a certain 13 year old’s birthday ankle tattoo. xoxo

    • Marla
      November 8, 2011 | 8:32 pm

      That tattoo is a cautionary tale for hippie parents everywhere.

  16. Stella Seaspirit
    November 8, 2011 | 2:10 pm

    I’d say my approach to exercise is masculine while my dietary habits are feminine. I enjoy an intense workout at the gym (masc.) and then a dreamy steam bath with essential oils followed by scintillating body products (fem.) and not saying no to any culinary delights, especially dessert!

    • Marla
      November 8, 2011 | 2:52 pm

      Oooh, I love it! Sounds like a beautiful balance to me. What are your favorite essential oils? I’ve been wanting to try using some.

      • Stella Seaspirit
        November 10, 2011 | 1:03 pm

        Marla, that’s a tough one to answer heehee I adore SO many :) I would say top of the list is lavender, grapefruit, frankincense. Shoot me a mail if you’d like to discuss specific uses you have in mind ~*

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I'm Marla Hamilton, and this is my blog. I write it because I want to make it very easy for you to feel healthy and great about yourself.Read more about me here.
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